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Location: Southeastern, United States

Friday, May 20, 2005

hineh matov uma na'im...

The Wataugans are headed out tomorrow. Important discoveries: first, that I like having them in my house. It's that feeling I used to have last year when Laura and Anna were making tea in the bathroom before I woke up; that feeling of an old marriage, of comfortable company. Second, no ideal can stay, but my roommate and I are friends for ever or a good long time.

We had a good conversation walking into town, I want to remember that. B was antsy the whole day; turns out he wanted to be on the road (be where you are, B; tell people what's going on, B.) It's nice to have him here, out of context, without the sometimes suffocating structure of Watauga around. It's also nice to acknowledge that not only are people not what you make them to be in your head, they have no responsibility to be. I am glad and I honor him. (I am also sad, because I always want to be the center of the universe and SOMETIMES I'M JUST NOT. Okay I don't have to be the exact center of Watauga, but I don't like not being a part of the pull, a part of the solar system.)

Of my roommate J, I don't think I even realized what a friendship we were building. It is extraordinarily good to see her. I am pleased.

I am also tired and sad. I have liked having them in my life here. To them this a stopping place between events; to me, it is the event. That's an important distinction.

Nonetheless, I have had a little bit of Watauga, I have kidnapped it (stolen it rather, whole minutes of it) and held onto it for myself. I will not let the slight bitterness I feel at passing back out of the orbit slow me down.

love,
alex

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