Bread and Roses

Name:
Location: Southeastern, United States

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Anachronism

Maybe the reason I want to stop posting is that the important things get blurred over so quickly. It's strange to look back and realize how little the theoretical, distant things change the way you go about your day. I don't feel guilty for that - I try to lead good simple days, for the most part.

I will think about this some more.

love
alex

Again with the not writing

Widespread Panic is playing tonight, and though I am not going and do not even own that sort of skimpy patchwork top, it was torture to come to the library instead of sitting and peoplewatching all night long. Already on a brief turn through the park across from the ampitheatre a boy - one of three tall, tan, thin, androgenous not-from-around-here longhaired types - gave me a Kermit the Frog smile. It has been years since I lived in a town with enough free-ranging hippies to see the Kermit smile - a bugged eyes, pressed lips expression, limpid, possibly psychedelic in origin. I wouldn't know.

I wanted to sit and people-watch, but I am being a Good Student, and I didn't haul my computer on my back all day for nothing, so I will end this entry and go write.

love,
alex

Just when I'm headed out I sprout opinions

Third picture on page. You aren't starving parents, siblings, and children looking for food, you're looters. You're not refugees from a terrible human disaster, you're potential dangerous criminals. And we're taking your mail truck.

wtf america.

love
alex

It seems like it's dooming someone to say that they're dying, even if it's a fact, even if everyone's saying it obliquely - sadly, we expect more updates soon, says the email.

Joe Straley is dying. You don't know him, internet, but he sent me to Nicaragua and turned my life around. I hope one day I am ninety-two and still fighting to get one more book out.

When ... when, I will write something for Joe and then I think I'm going to close this blog. Not directly in response, but because I've had less and less of import to say, and maybe a life is better lived talking to real though inconstant people. I might change my mind, if I think of something else.

love,
alex

Monday, September 19, 2005

Ahoy!

My pirate talk be rusty, so I won't be a postin' anything but MOP THE DECKS YOU SCALLYWAGS.

Hm? Hm?

love
alex

Friday, September 16, 2005

Stranger With a Doorkey

I am sure I am not the only person who, fueled by a new visa, made extravagent purchases at two in the morning. Internet, why do you make it so easy? So far you have given me takeout, and three new pairs of pants.

Those of you who know me may know that I own one pair of pants that are not Carrharts, and two pairs of Carrharts that do not have holes in the bum. This is about to change! I will wear jeans! Some of which are less baggy than giant man-pants! Get ready, world!

I went over to Friend J's and ate cheesecake and listened to radiocast comedy. I have missed Friend J. I am not a very good friend to her, but I do like her so much. However, she made me watch Toys, the mid-nineties Robin Williams 'cult classic'. Cult classic sometimes means incomprehensibly strange movie. I contented myself with talking through it and asking what was happening every five minutes.

Does anyone else find it strange that food and clothes cost money? I can understand other things - consumer electronics, for instance - costing money, but it still seems indescripably alien to me that something as basic as what you eat and cover yourself with should be able to be expensive. I suspect that's less because I'm a damn commie and more because I am bourgeouise with a capital B.

I am trying to get a job. I will work from 6:30 - 10 in the morning doing salad bar prep, if I can get all my forms in on time. I think it sounds kind of fun, kind of.

love,
alex

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Marching, Marching

I have finally figured out what I have been feeling is totally lacking in some of my Latin America classes. I will now name it: "ideological moderation and intellectual rigor". I could also term it "approaching an issue from every possible angle as if it were a big block of, um, intellectual swiss cheese, and the holes were trains of thought, and the various facets represented ideological approaches, and I was both of a proper scale and intellectually free to follow the Cheese Holes of Thought all the way through to the opposite side, perhaps pausing for a snack on the way." Mmm, Cheese.

Do you see why I am maybe having trouble expressing my sentiments? DO YOU SEE WHY I AM REDUCED TO CALLNG WENDELL BERRY NAMES AND ASKING "WHAT IF CAPITALISM REALLY CAN DELIVER ON THE FLYING CARS?"

There is a massive gap right between my ideology and the rest of the world and somewhere in the darkness lies factual understanding.

My poor professors.

In other news, I chopped all my hair off (it is shorter than it was though still in the range of soccer mom) and maybe my new laptop will get here someday so I can start spending all my money on DVDs and I still haven't learned the Spanish I should and I have a cold.

love,
alex

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Back to normal.

God save us all from teenage boys who, on meeting you, launch into talking about how no one likes them. Give me an ego the size of a supernova to an ego like a black hole any day.

love,
alex

Monday, September 05, 2005

Stupid f***ing bell

I wish I could stop reading the news.

love,
alex

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Fourth of September

I am learning, at least, from watching my innate reactions to the flood of New Orleans. I am learning that I don't like to be caught up in floods of national emotion, that in fact I distrust them. It is horrible; yes it is horrible. What happened in the Superdome and in the Convention Center could have been prevented and I do think that there are real and specific reasons why they turned into a vertiable genocide-by-neglect. But these things happen in our world. They happen to poor people, they happen to black people, they happen to children and they happen to women. They happen in human and natural disasters. The fact that there were army people there looking them in the face driving by and lobbing water bottles at them - and the fact that at least there were water bottles - does not really make it a different thing that happened.

I am learning some things about my political views from this. I am learning that I want strong government, that I am furious at people who are sitting there blithely advocating libertarianism as a way to, I don't know, medivac people out of a flood zone. Initiative does not fix levees, concrete does. Initiative does not pluck people off rooftops, trained men and women in helicopters do. I believe that community is stronger than violence, that self-organization is stronger than disaster, but do you have any idea how many people died in New Orleans? Is it any wonder that whatever social bonds might have gotten people through were shattered? That's what a government is supposed to be, an organization that protects the weakest, that provides the community, the organization, and the goddamn concrete and helicopters when necessary.

I have been learning that some people are bigots, that some people are really, truly awful, but that the majority of the world doesn't think that being poor and black should be a death sentance. The majority of people are not capable of baldfacedly denying common humanity in this situation. I hope I remember that after this particular crisis is over.

love,
alex

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Two counties south of here - way, way north and east of the storm - about half the gas stations have nothing to sell.

The creepy thing is, this sounds exactly like what the environmentalists have been predicting, and I don't know what we're supposed to do about it.

I'm sorry, New Orleans, Biloxi. I've been to the Delta, though never to N. O. I've known people that loved that city with every bone in their body. I'm generally apathetic about natural disaster, but now this is a human disaster, and on a terrible scale.

maybe after this, something will change for the better? somewhere?

love,
alex